Still in Pain! + Apology...

Day 83

Right something is going on! Not only is my neck still hurting but i slammed my finger in the washrooms window! I must have stepped on a crack or let a black cat cross my path! Either that or i have suddenly been warped into a basil faulty set and will soon see a no English speaking waiter come running past! The tiger balm has come out and i have now got 2 of these Panadol patches on my neck.... I went to the gym today and had a little run which was fine and then i went into the pool and just floated for a while. This seemed to help a bit. I also went into the sauna for a bit to get some heat into it...

By the way its come to my attention... well shall i say i have been told that people have taken offence to the words used in my blog.... I'm sorry if i have offended you with what Ive said, to be fair i didn't think anyone was reading this ....i do however work for i.f.s. and should have known better as i am also representing my company as this is in the public domain... I have tried to write what ever has come into my head while writing this to fully convey what I'm going through. I didn't think there was much point in writing a shopping list style blog as that would be boring, and my rants are how I'm feeling at the time. Even though the training has been hard, whats been even harder is the mental side of it. Constantly pushing yourself and beating previous targets. Having no chance to relax. A constant everyday battle with not drinking, smoking and eating what i want i think has made me insane! Even on the odd day i haven't trained and tried to relax Ive had to watch others gorging themselves on booze and food!..I have that f.o.m.o. massively..for anyone how doesn't listen to Scott miles that's : fear of missing out! And being (some what) sane i have to vent my anger somewhere and have used this as an outlet for my raw emotions. Had i not i would have taken them out in an even more inappropriate place. While writing this i think about stuff and people that have annoyed me, and sometimes profanity comes out!! Plus i hardly ever mean what i say, i just say it for effect!!!lol

I am however sorry for my language and i should be old enough now to know better....

Anyway with fight night only 3 days away and 1 last boxing session (if I'm fit enough) I'm really starting to warm to the idea of fighting! I've had lots of dreams about Friday in the last couple of days.. really vivid dreams. Like I'm actually there and its taken away some of the nerves i had. I no longer care whats gonna happen and am just going to relish every moment I'm there! I'm not gonna think about the outcome. I don't want to let the night rush past me like i did with the weigh in! I'm really looking forward. Its strange days are going past really slowly. Like my body knows something really big is coming up. Like the calm before the storm. I can never really think about much else for longer than two minute until a thought about the fight comes into my head. Ive played the fight over in my head 20-30 times....Apart from my neck i feel so ready! I can not wait! COME ON!